Masturbation is fondling your genitals consistently to achieve orgasm. Ladies may stroke their clitoris while guys rub, massage or caress their penis. I decided to give an explicit explanation because some ask me what masturbation is. Some ladies especially non-virgins use candles, banana, small bottles, sticks, dildos or whatever represents a penis and do solo sex (having sex by yourself).
From teenage upward, you will have a strong desire for sex. It's a sure sign you are normal and capable of having and enjoying sex in marriage. In your 20s it will be stronger and intense! You may wake up feeling horny for no single reason in the world or go hot on spotting a curvy lady! You may start noticing shapes and curves and you have to shake your head several times to keep the image off. You may get worked up on watching a romantic movie and discharge something. You check up and discover you are wet. All these are normal; you haven't committed any sin.
So what then do you do when you get hot and horny? Have sex? I know you know my answer and some singles will never be caught dead sleeping around, so what do they do? They masturbate!
"Some would want to be playful and explore more during ovulation. You may not feel the urge to masturbate during your pre-menstrual cycle, but the orgasms will actually be way better, even if they do take a bit longer."
FEMALE MASTURBATION, ISSUES AND CONTROVERSY
Female masturbation involves the stroking or rubbing of a woman's vulva, especially her clitoris, with an index or middle fingers, or both. Sometimes one or more fingers may be inserted into the vagina to stroke its frontal wall where the G-spot may be located. Masturbation aids such as a vibrator, dildo, or BenWa balls can also be used to stimulate the vagina and clitoris. Many women caress their breasts or stimulate a nipple with the free hand and anal stimulation is also enjoyed by some. A personal lubricant is sometimes used during masturbation, especially when penetration is involved, but this is not universal and many women find their natural lubrication sufficient.
Like males, common positions for female masturbation include lying on back or face down, sitting, squatting, kneeling, or standing. In a bath or shower a female may direct water via a handheld showerhead at her clitoris, vulva, or perineum. Lying face down one may use the hands; one may straddle a pillow, the corner or edge of the bed, a partner's leg or some scrunched-up clothing and "hump" the vulva and clitoris against it. Standing up, a chair, the corner of an item of furniture, or even a washing machine can be used to stimulate the clitoris through the labia and clothing. Some masturbate only using pressure applied to the clitoris without direct contact, for example by pressing the palm or ball of the hand against underwear or other clothing. In the 1920s, Havelock Ellis reported that turn-of-the-century seamstresses using treadle-operated sewing machines could achieve orgasm by sitting near the edge of their chairs.
Women can stimulate themselves sexually by crossing their legs tightly and clenching the muscles in their legs, creating pressure on the genitals.
To help us shake off the persistent social stigma, we’ve created a guide to female self-pleasuring. On a seminar conducted by Liser Lister the author and creator of wellness website, she spoke to women about their own experiences of masturbation and got some expert tips on how to make things work for them, including from the art of playing with oneself.
Get to know your nether regions
Understanding the different bits of your body is the first step towards successful stimulation. Don’t be put off by the fact that you may not know the names of your parts, as the first and most important step is getting to know how to ‘use’ them.
Lisa Lister, author and creator of wellness website The Sassy She says that getting to know your body, and not getting hung up on terminology, is the best approach.
“It would be great if we were taught the technicalities in school, but unfortunately we’re not. Though it’s good to know the terminology, it’s not essential. My advice would be to explore, get to know what things feel like, and if it feels good, keep going!”
To help us on our quest to become more familiar with our anatomy, Lisa has provided us with simple, straightforward definitions for some of our bodily bits from her book Love Your Lady Landscape.
Vulva: "This is the outer part of your lady landscape. It includes the clitoris, labia lips, urethra and entrance to the vagina, and its opening is almond shaped."
Clitoris: When people talk about the clitoris, they’re usually just talking about the glans. The very sensitive outside part, but the bean-like bump you can see on the vulva is just the tip of the iceberg. It's the only organ of the body with the sole function of providing pleasure.
Vagina: This is a pulsing muscle that opens and closes between the cervix (at the base of the uterus) and the external opening.
Lisa also thinks getting to know your menstrual cycle is an important way of ensuring you get the most from the experience.
TIPS FOR HEALTHY MASTURBATION ON WOMEN
Strawberry's Tip 1
Put it into practice: Use the Pussy Play Masterclass ‘Rise and Sine’ approach to get to know a variety of these areas at once.
"Using the tips of your fingers, lightly tap the public bone above the clitoris to wake the vulva up. You may also want to press down and rub in a circular motion."
Use your hands
Confused by the variety of animal-themed vibrators and neon dildos available online? Well, our girls think it's best to go organic.
Lisa thinks that, though sex toys can be a good way to introduce newcomers to the self-pleasure game, it's best to avoid becoming dependent on them.
“The real fun and pleasure comes through when you use your fingers,” says Lisa.
“Personally, I think that using a toy can desensitise the whole experience. You want to be able to touch yourself, so that you can be playful and get to know the speed and feel you want.”
Strawberry's Tip 2
Put it into practice: Put your fingers to the test with the ‘Scissors Sisters’ technique.
"Making a peace sign with your hands, place each finger on either side of the outer labia. Then, while pressing down lightly, wiggle the fingers towards each other, squeezing and lifting the labia together between the two fingers.
Get to know your Clitoris
"Your clitoris is awesome," says Lisa. As mentioned above, the clitoris is more than just the outer, bean-shaped part. "It's the most nerve-rich part of the vulva, containing over 8,000 nerve endings, which is twice as many as the penis. This makes it the powerhouse of pleasure."
Lisa explains that there’s more to the clitoris than initially meets the eye. “This tiny erogenous zone spreads the feel-good-love to 15,000 other nerves in the pelvis, which explains why it feels like your whole body is being taken over when you orgasm."
Put it into practice: Make your wildest fantasies come true and try out the 'Princess and the Pea' technique.
"Making sure the tip of your finger is nice and moist, slowly pull the hood over the clitoris back and gently stroke the head of the clitoris. You may also want to use a small circular motion, depending on your preferences."
Don’t just think about orgasm
There’s more to masturbation than the big O.
It's important to enjoy the whole experience, rather than racing to the finish line. Lube can be particularly good for assisting in the arousal process.
Lisa believes that engaging in foreplay can be beneficial for your relationships too.
“Be as indulgent as possible. Give yourself the full experience by making time to be exploratory and playful. By doing so, you’ll build a better relationship with your own body and as a result, be able to have more confidence in a relationship to say exactly what you want and when.”
“Starting at the base of the vagina, lightly drag your fingertip at a snail’s pace towards the clitoris. Make sure you don’t put your finger in too deep at this point, as you want to avoid touching the urethra."
THE BENEFITS OF MASTURBATING FOR WOMEN
The benefits of masturbation for women are many; it is beneficial in following ways:
Female masturbation helps prevent cervical infections and relieves urinary tract infections. In fact, the desire to masturbate can be strong for a woman with UTI and with good reason, because masturbating can help relieve the pain, lubricate the vagina, and flush harmful bacteria from the cervix.
Relieves you of depressed feelings as when you become aroused, the hormone levels of mood-boosting dopamine and epinephrine soar in your body.
Masturbation can help relieve emotional stress greatly.
It helps you to strengthen your relationship with yourself because when you know and love yourself deeply on physical and emotional levels, you gain confidence and let yourself grow through self-awareness. Masturbation can enhance the quality of your sleep and help you deal with insomnia.
When a woman orgasms it increases the pelvic floor strength. There is increased blood pressure in the clitoris. The muscle tone, heart rate, and respiration increases and the uterus go up from the pelvic floor, thus increasing pelvic muscle tension and strengthening the entire region.
It can enhance your relationship with your partner since you know yourself physically.
For women, masturbation can help relieve stomach cramps.
In post-menopausal women, a narrowing of the vagina can make sexual intercourse and pelvic exams painful, but masturbation, particularly with a water-based lubricant, increases blood flow to the sex organs. This can help relieve moisture problems and prevent the narrowing of the vagina.
THE SIDE EFFECTS OF EXCESSIVE MASTURBATION ON WOMEN
Even good things in excessive proportions can be harmful. If you masturbate excessively it can lead to:
Rawness and extreme genital irritation from too much friction
Living too much in your head and in your fantasies, rather than face reality
Disconnecting emotionally or sensually when it comes to your partner
Conditioning yourself to only become aroused or reach an orgasm in one specific way, if you are masturbating the same way every time.
Masturbation is a very common behaviour among men and women and is a very normal part of growing up for children of both sexes.
Most children play with their genitals between the ages of two and six. To a grown-up person, the sight of children fondling their own genitals can feel disturbing because he/she looks at the act through adult filters. However, this act is a very normal part of growing up for every child, as it is a process of self-exploring their own bodies and discovering how each part of their body responds to touch, and how some parts are more pleasurable than others. To a child rubbing his/her genitals simply feels innocently pleasurable and is not “wrong” or “bad”. These “adult filters” are introduced to the children by the adults, and often the child ends up feeling confused and worried.
The adults react to the child in the same way that they saw their own parents or grown-ups around them react, while they were exploring their own bodies as children. Therefore, they continue to carry those feelings of shame and guilt and never got a chance to get comfortable with their own sexuality.
The act in itself is not “good” or “bad”, though in some cases religious beliefs may induce people to label it as “bad”.
The crucial factor in such a scenario would be, how an adult approaches a child and without shaming the child makes the child feel comfortable with his/her own body, and gently explains the propriety side of it, if a child indulges in the act in front of people.